"She flew for Forty Feet."
Sounded like the opening line of the poem written and read at the memorial by her grandmother,
I think...
I received a text of the tragedy from my wife on the bus coming home from the city.
Recording my omens from my new moon ritual in the morning and contemplating online class with local Teacher DR. John Beaulieu, concerning felt sense and its connection to meaning.
Somatic Resonance
I had recently submitted my continuing education to the ADF Clergy and was about to attend the third Dark Moon Rite a Live Zoom ritual that is not recorded,
I think...
The next day my wife shows me the picture from the online edition of the local Newspapers obituaries.
" Wow, I don't think I ever saw her hair cut short."
Cause of death, hit and run while heading south on 9w was struck by an unidentified southbound vehicle from behind while walking with a friend from college on a day visit home to see her mother and sister.
It was six years since being on the familiar grounds of WDS for the candlelight vigil.
Our son joined us on the most bitter cold gusty days of this winter, to the place he graduated from.
Warmly greeted, given candle and matches with the suggestion to light it back home later we proceeded to a fire that had been burning for some time, built and tended by someone I did not recognize with natural fallen limbs broken and placed in challenging winds and cruel circumstances.
Corelated coincidence in the different buildings and interconnected pathways of campus and the lives of independent fleshy collections of components traveling through space and time.
Connective tissue - tension-stress on bonds- points of connection-differential concordance
perception is participatory resonant responses within nonlinear field relations implicitly intimate.
Trauma is a dissonance of harmonic flow within the body in association with polarized anterior-posterior axis structurally and or functionally responding spontaneously to adapting system equilibrium.
If the Soul is the vibrational signature of the individual, then maybe schools and learning are where we tune into our inner selves, immersed in a perceptive field. A living matrix of conductive coherence.
Place of potential patterns of possibilities particles of personhoods purposeful progress people passage.
Energy can be neither created or destroyed but passes through and between individuated local bodies.
Empathy and compassion with warm and cold heart metaphors suggest a flow valve open or closed.
Capacity for feeling coupled with space for being sharing expressions of experience living with time.
Never too old to Learn - Never too young to Teach -thankful for the Star that gives Life to everything.
Part of a circuit or loop of energetic vibration engaged sensory and extrasensory dimensional spectrum.
Shock over loss is a rupture in rhythm an unpleasant change of beat with what connects the body and the out of body sensation of balance and anticipation/expectation, not feeling right, not knowing why.
Perturbance in spatiotemporal patterns are modifiers triggering novelty responses along life's journey.
Emotional incontinence in frequency and amplitude in response to sensed pressure internal and external.
A dramatic relationship between Comedy and Tragedy as effective expressions of psychosomatic release.....................................................................................................................................................
and Timing.
I couldn't get much of what happened during the Outdoor vigil, my wife used her smart phone the next day to help me remember what the sister was saying about learning to drive that she got from her sister, HALT.
Hungry - Angry -Lonely-Tired
My wife also confirmed the identity of someone I spotted and pointed out to her as being an earlier acquaintance from a different school part of the expanding circles of the latest generation grown up now living on their own. Years go by and people change, none as fast as children, perhaps the biggest spiritual influence on My priestly pagan group practice with family friendly Our Whole Grove.
Witness the sharing of the waters of life and the loving nurturing, caring worship of the natural world.
Things had sunk in a bit more by the memorial, unaccompanied by our son, entering an unfamiliar church I managed a hug and simple condolence for her mother before sitting down and feeling the energies of the occasion, specifics assembled the uniqueness of the subjects' way of connecting people.
The room had a slideshow and photos to one side and a shrine central with cookies and tea on the other side, piano in back. Without obvious clergy present or leading things, the mother asked if anybody knew it and wanted could start chanting John Coltrane's- A Love Supreme.
The funny thing about grief and sorrow are the physical sensations located within the bodies of very different people in the same place in the same way. The heavy heart, chocked voice, wounded spirit.
Sensitivity to suffering seeming the strongest signal shared sympathy, showing respect, seeking peace.
Sometimes people can avoid the habit of recoiling from what is hurting by just being with it,
giving it a moment, feeling into it, with the best intentions and greater good in mind seek right relationship in imagined or expressed sensations and associations with what is uncomfortable to genuinely inform and learn how best to carry on. Painful lessons, bitter medicine, the fix or the cure is not pleasant and takes ......Time ......to work.
Energy of people feels much like the spirit of people to me. a capacity for expression in wave form with peaks and troughs an action or movement over time oscillating natural rhythmic patterns passing through the person.
Seems the same with any organism, or responsive system thing or place that is not fixed in a static form.
The Heart is the center of the resonant seeking being at the root of unconscious sensation.
Primordial pressure sensor adaptable relationship connector circulator of life force power to the person.
The Breath is associated with the spirit or soul because of the individuals' control of the inhale or exhale, with a common immediate sense of following a regular pattern of exchange with a nonphysical extradimensional unknown potential yet essential invisible world outside of the borders of our body.
It felt right to include My offerings for her with mead sacrifice made at the next new moon ritual that is half of my Priestly practice spiritual nutritional supplement taken up regularly silently by myself.
I know when I have been blessed. and am comfortable with this more private occasion to acknowledge Kindred Spirits and seek council with Ancient Wise and the Court of the Sky.
I took on the Priest title to qualify my ritually speaking out loud to other people and the action of seasonal holiday in ADF. that feels like an introverted/extroverted counterbalance of spiritual wave expression with passing cycles and frequencies connected to me and meaning, or better understanding.
I think...
Taking the mystery out of the mystery school-a not so secret society of anti-cult contra clique behavior in accessible public neo pagan religion =ADF!
Unlike the comfort and convenience of controlled environment and guided meditation my priestly arts are employed with improvising with uncontrolled elements and energies into a respectful appreciation and gratitude for what is.
What has gotten us this far.
Love for it, even at great distances can be felt.
Consciousness gives us relationship to frequency.
In Harmony with the land as continuum of Life and Death in concert and as conduit of the concord of spontaneous organization.
I think....
I won a T-shirt design contest for ADF,
at its center
"Aged Forty Years"
